Just a quick update. Well I hope it’s quick. You never can tell. One of the aliens in my head may take over and I’ll be here typing all night. I hate it when that happens.

Well the solar panels came in. I was all excited opening the first panel until I noticed that it had a special connector on the cabling. After some research I learned that it was a MC4 connector and in order not to void the warranty I had to use a matching UL listed connector. I’m sure you can guess where this went. They are expensive. And they require a proprietary crimp tool. I already have a dozen crimpers rusting in tool boxes so what are the chances that one will work? Absolutely none. In order to not violate UL you have to use the special low drag go faster crimp tool. I ordered a set of pig tails for each panel and will run my own connectors and cabling from there.

Then I got to looking for the mounting hardware for the panel. There was none. Checking out their site I found some lame assed excuse for not including mounting hardware but they would be more than happy to provide hardware at only $30 per panel. Yeah, sure. Three panels would be nearly enough to buy another panel. Let me see, hardware or a new 100 watt panel? DOH!

So I raided the storage unit to load up a couple hundred pounds of hardware. One of the benefits to being a pack rat and working construction for so many years is that I have at least a ton of hardware in there.

So I headed to the swamp a few days ago all happied up about being able to get the panels mounted so I could do the final hookup this weekend sometime after the pig tails arrived. I arrived late in the afternoon and after unloading and settling in it was time to cook and get ready for dark.

Getting set up for dark is a big thing for me. I have to bring in the solar lights and preposition everything I’ll need after dark. When it gets dark out there it is really, really dark. On a clear night you have some starlight plus maybe the moon when outside. On overcast nights walking outside is like walking into a cave and turning out your headlamp.

I’m not scared of the dark by any means, but there are bears, bobcats, panthers and raccoon out there. There’s already been reports of rabid raccoon this year so I’m justifiably wary. I’ve seen bear, bobcat and panther tracks within 100 yards of the shack so I know they come close.

The next morning I was full of myself and started the day on a most optimistic note. I had talked to the manufacturer about the generator problems so I was equipped with a short list of maintenance items to do then my generator would be singing like a canary. By noon I was so frustrated and angry I broke out the AR and sat on the porch hoping for a raccoon or armadillo.

Then I started calling the manufacturer. After a dozen calls, two phone recharges and a couple gallons of sweat, the generator locked up and wouldn’t even consider working. My last call ended abruptly when I began to describe in great detail the lineage and sexual deviations of the generator. This time I broke out the big AR in 308 thinking I would turn a critter into a red fog.

After a few bottles of water I began thinking about how to get the generator in the back of the pickup. It weighs right at 260 pounds which is about 245 pounds more than I want to try lifting. I thought of letting the air out of the tires on the truck so as to lower the bed. Good idea till I remembered I didn’t have a generator so I couldn’t start the air compressor to pump them back up. Then I thought of digging a hole and backing the truck into it then rolling the generator into the bed. Then I had it, gathering all my extensive knowledge of Star Wars trivia I looked at the generator and said “Luke, I be your daddy.” Focusing all my energy I extended my hand, concentrated on seeing the generator in the bed of the truck and got a cramp. I think I heard a silly little faggot giggle coming from the generator.

Back on the porch I loaded some tracers I got somewhere.

My next and final attempt worked much to my amazement. I built a stairway to the truck be using pallets. I laid two out for the first step, four for the second, then six for the last. I had to take the two from the first step and put them on the third once I got the generator to the second tier since I was running out of spare pallets. I placed plywood between steps to form a ramp which greatly eased getting it up, still it was a chore with many breaks and bottles of water. Still, I was concerned about falling and breaking my ass.

So tomorrow I get to take it back to where I bought it for an exchange. It’s nearly a 600 mile round trip but worth it since I have to have a generator.

Good grief what a crappy day. Ever have one of those days when everything you touched turned to crap? Man did I ever.

It started when I built a cup of coffee. I have one of those percolators that you put the grounds in and it percolates the water up then down through the grounds. Works fine unless you forget to turn the heat down when it starts making that strange strangling sound. I forgot and ended up with a cup of half grounds and half a coffee like substance that seemed to be evolving or something. I managed to get it down before it developed a language and began arguing with me. I just wasn’t in any mood for argument this morning.

Then I broke out all the weapons of mass destruction and began to set up a solar cell. Don’t scoff. In my hands a skill saw, drill and hammer are weapons of mass destruction. I have a mountain of badly abused wood out there that I could have sworn would fit. Well it didn’t. I had to mount the cell three times before I got it right. I chalked it up to nearly losing an argument to a cup of coffee and plowed on.

I figured I wanted to charge my deep cycle battery while doing this so the generator was being obnoxious as hell the whole time. Then it stopped. Repeatedly. Did I mention I had a crappy day?

After a couple of hours of arguing with the generator I decided to give it a rest and take a nap. After I approached it with my most menacing scowl, put my hand on my gun and said “Go ahead. Make my day.” Didn’t work. Finally I checked the oil. Yeah I know I should have done that first off but I had just checked it a few days ago.

It was gone. The dip stick said bone dry. I checked the ground, then tilted the generator up to see if there was a leak. No oil. I pulled the plug and there was no evidence of fouling so it didn’t burn it. I am completely mystified wondering where did the oil go? One of the voices is telling me that aliens needed it to super charge their inter dimensional trans warp drive but he’s always been a silly little shit so I rarely listen to him. After putting the prescribed flavor and amount of oil in the generator was most happy to do its job which was nice seeing as how I had went all in with my Clint Eastwood impression.

Back at the solar cell I was cussing myself for packaging it in about 10 layers of Faraday cage. I was obviously in one of my prepare for an EMP phases at the time. Two cuts and a broken fingernail later it was unwrapped and not at all what I expected. For starters it was 15 watts where I remember 45 watts. It is however a desulfator system which is a good thing. I’m planning on several small solar power systems so I can periodically move it to individual battery banks and tune them as needed. Also I forgot to order cells so that is high on my list when I get back to town. Still I’m wondering if I have a 45 watt cell somewhere. Heck, I can’t remember what I was thinking or doing two hours ago much less two years.

I bought an inverter and charge controller at Harbor Freight the other day just to get something up and running. I don’t need the charge controller yet but figured I’d put the inverter in even if it was overkill right now. As soon as I opened the box I was angry. Well, really angry. Hell, I was furious. The inverter is used and there’s no way I’m putting it in. It’s a 150 mile round trip to return it so the voices were especially loud.

During the course of the day Ziggy discovered the fan. I had it on the floor just moving air in the shack while I worked. When it came time for our afternoon walk he made it very evident that if the fan wasn’t going neither was he. At least it drowns out some of the noise of his snoring.

Last night was miserable. It didn’t get below 90 until about 2 am so sleep was one of those things that you just wished for. Tonight I’m ready. Charged battery, inverter in place and fan on standby. It’s in the 70s, light breeze blowing through the shack and I can hardly keep my eyes open. Go figure.

I’m really getting into dragonflies. Besides being fierce predators they are pretty smart for a bug. They will often hang out wherever you are because they know that some muzloid bugs are going to go geehawdy on your azz. They then swoop in and snip, no more terrorist bug. This guy was just hanging out on my laptop while I was trying to do a system recovery. Every few minutes I would hear a buzz then he would be back with a yellow fly. He would sit on the screen frame and eat his snack while I tried to get my system back. All that was left when he finished was wings and legs which I didn’t mind brushing off at all.

Actually I’ve come to like these guys so much I began naming them which might not have been the best of ideas. Dragonflies only live for a few weeks and they just don’t seem to have what it takes to learn their names in that time. I’ve noticed that when I try to use my Jedi mind power on them they seem confused at times.

Me: “Alvin! Yellow fly! Get him.”

Dragonfly Union Leader: “OK, Alvin yer up. Which one of youse is Alvin?”

Dragonfly 1: “Not me Boss. I’m Horace. Or Bill. Or maybe Jim. I dunno.”

Dragonfly 2: “Alvin? Didn’t he get eaten by a bird? Or was that Cheryl?”

Me (being bit repeatedly): “Ouch! Shit! Crap!”

Dragonfly Union Leader: “OK, Ouch Shit Crap yer up. Which one of youse is Ouch Shit Crap?”

Perhaps you’ve been in the swamp to long when you begin speculating about the conversations of insects.

Clearing brush is only the start to a battle that I don’t see ending anytime soon. I’ve learned two things about swamp gardening. First is that if you don’t want to grow it then bend over. Every time you cut it down it will come back with 20 new shoots to taunt you. Second is that if you want it grow bend over. It won’t.

Deciding that I needed some way to kill the newly sprouted brush without the use of a gazillion gallons of weed killer which would eventually leech into the water table I started experimenting. In this picture you can see the rare and exotic camo tarp and black sheet plastic plants. These previously unknown plants were once a Chinese state secret and only grown in the most remote regions of northern China. Farmers who had earned the gratitude of the Emperor were allowed to grow these plants that made them fantastically wealthy with some making $3.97 a year in a good year. This was a boon for their children since they didn’t have to work in the sweatshops which was just as well since children don’t sweat all that much.

These plants were smuggled out of China at great risk in the underwear of two 19 year old Chinese twin sisters I purchased on the internet for $49.95 plus $29.99 shipping and handling. After seeing the bounty they had brought I set them free, bought them both tickets to New York city and gave them two cases of Ramon noodles to speed them along.

OK, it’s a camo tarp and a sheet of black plastic. I made it all up. So sue me.

Though somewhat slow, this works. When temps reach 90+ underneath the tarp/sheet it’s a lot higher. This results in sort of parboiling whatever is growing there. The black plastic seems to work best with the brush turning dead in two weeks or so. I’m leaving it on for several weeks more in the hope that it will kill the roots making further treatments unnecessary. The camo tarp doesn’t concentrate as much heat so it is working much slower but it is working none the less. I’ve since started covering the brush with cardboard then clear plastic. The jury isn’t in on this approach yet but I think maybe the clear plastic may work even better than the black. Hopefully it will transfer more heat in and cook those suckers much faster.

A few days ago, well a couple of weeks ago, I started a shed for my generators. I cleared the brush, leveled the ground a bit and set to it. I began by laying down plastic sheet to stop future growth then nailed together two pallets which would give me a 4×8 foot shed. This is a convenient size since most of my on hand lumber is 8 foot long. Then I decided it was to close to the shack so I cleared another area and set about leveling it. Then I decided I wanted a permanent shed and not something that would blow away. So I started digging holes. No need to mention the WMD needed to dig a hole. Then I started setting the poles. 12 foot 4x4s were way overkill. So tomorrow I buy some 10 foot and hopefully start nailing some lumber.

“What you eating Daddy?”
“It’s a banana Ziggy.”
“I know what it is. Can I have some Daddy? Not the peel this time.”
“It’s a banana. You sure want it Ziggy?”
“Yes please.”
“OK, here.”
“No thank you Daddy. I don’t like banana. I just wanted to see if you would let me have it.”

Back in the swamp and time for another installment of “What’s that smell?” Oh wait. That’s another story. Never mind. Maybe later.

As usual, things are stumbling along at a pace somewhat akin to watching paint dry. Hauling brush, picking up trash and wondering what bit me and how the hell did it get that far up my pants leg just isn’t all that exciting. Well once it was. I’ve wiped out several colonies of fire ants and I believe they have put out a fatwa on me. I had a couple of fire ant suicide bombers make it all the way up my pants leg and inside my underwear. I’m very glad no one saw me running around with my pants to my knees screaming at the top of my lungs while slapping madly at,,,,well, you know. I don’t believe anyone who witnessed it would describe it as exciting. On the other hand I’m pretty sure I heard some tiny little voices yelling “Aloha Snackbar!”

I finally got the last of the bamboo in and it is doing OK to gangbusters. I put some mild lawn fertilizer on which seems to really agree with it. I now have four different varieties which are supposed to grow from 30 to 100 feet tall under ideal conditions. But it has to be watered which has led to a water shortage. Yeah, I know. I live in a swamp. Water everywhere. Except close to where the bamboo is.

The closest water is about 200 yards away and running away rapidly. I don’t know if this drying trend is a seasonal thing or an indicator of things to come. Anyway, water weighs 8 pounds per gallon. For the first month or so each plant should get a gallon in the morning and one at night. Thankfully we’ve been getting afternoon showers this week so I only have to deal with the morning water.

Some good friends came to visit a few days ago and we had a good time visiting both the local sights then journeying out to the shack. We started off with a visit to the town boutique specializing in everything you never thought you wanted or needed. No kidding. This shop is great and I never go there that I don’t find some hidden treasure that I will never use but just can’t live without. They were no different and left with some treasures as well.

Then it was on to the seafood buffet and more calories than a school bus full of illegal alien children should eat. I especially enjoyed the 4000 calorie blackberry cobbler topped with vanilla ice cream. I really didn’t want it but sure didn’t want to leave it for some illegal to snarf up. Besides it was good.

We visited the swamp the next day, took a walking tour, shot some tin cans and in general had a very pleasant time. Hopefully I’ll have the shack better prepared the next time they visit and they can stay longer.

Today I woke up ready to go so I broke out the brush cutter and set out to cut a path I’ve been wanting to open. As before the existing path took a rather meandering route as I would take the path of least resistance or spot the occasional “shiny” that I just had to see. The new path will allow me to sit on the porch and see the west end of the hog wallow that I previously thought were two wallows. Once finished I’ll be able to sit on the balcony and mercilessly exterminate Miss Piggy on four different lanes over 90 yards long. I lasted about three hours before it got so awful hot I had to quit.

When you get between two walls of brush there isn’t a hint of a breeze. The heat just builds until it becomes hard to breathe. Throw in the fact that you have on heavy boots, long sleeved shirt, heavy gloves, a face shield and a somewhat restrictive harness to support the cutter and it gets really hot. The brush cutter itself puts out a tremendous amount of heat as well. The manufacturer recommends running it at about 10 thousand rpm which is fun but man does it ever heat things up even further.

Tomorrow is a toss up. I may cut some more path or maybe put up siding. Or maybe sit on the porch and doze all day. Can’t you just feel the excitement?

I really need to get the siding on the north side done and sealed. I bought some thinset Monday since the bag I had got wet. It’s remains are resting in a shallow grave out in my parking area. If I can remember where it is I’ll silently mourn its passing every time I drive over it.

There was a very strong storm here yesterday which had me concerned about the siding I have up now. After I did an inspection and was relieved to see no obvious damage. Maybe I got something right for a change.

The north wall is proving to be much more of a challenge than the east wall. For one, I didn’t know you should glue the siding with liquid nails so there isn’t a bit of glue on the east wall. After the first row it was just a matter of sliding the board up a ladder, then up the wall, setting it in place then screwing it down. With glue it’s an entirely different matter. You have to push the board up a ladder until it nearly touches the wall. Then you have to lift it out while continuing to push up the ladder. Once in place you set the board all in one fluid motion. Yeah, right. I have liquid nails everywhere. In my hair, on my shirt, gloves are caked and the wall looks like some modern art piece smeared with glue everywhere. Naturally the wind picks up just about the time you start to lift the board in place. Whereupon you are holding a 26 pound 3 by 5 foot sail that wants to go anywhere but over the area you previously applied glue to. There’s a piece of siding over in the brush now that I regularly cuss on every trip by that is destined for a shallow unmarked grave out in my parking area.

It’s very hot tonight. Not a bit of breeze, I have a hole in the air mattress and the Boy is snoring like a chain saw. It’s going to be a very long night.

Speaking of the boy snoring. A few weeks ago he went missing for longer than usual. I usually check several times an hour to see what he’s up to just in case he goes wandering off behind some new and possibly deadly adventure. Realizing that I hadn’t seen him for several hours I started the hunt. First stop was his favorite hide out

in the brush that he doesn’t know I know about. I always walk by it real casual like and never look directly at it. If he’s in there I keep walking and pretending that I don’t know where he is. Nope, he wasn’t there. By now I’m calling him and hitting the buzzer on his shock collar like a hive of angry bees. Nothing.

So it’s off to the road which is usually a total waste. Amos was out for awhile at the time so I decided to stop by his place to see if the Boy had visited. Just as I got to his trailer Amos was coming out for the call of nature. “Looking for Ziggy?” he asked. “Yep. Has he been up here?” “Yep, he’s inside asleep on the bed. I heard him outside whining and when I opened the door he came in, jumped in bed and went to sleep. I just laid down and went back to sleep.” I wasn’t really sure what to say at this point so I played it cool, “When he wakes up will you send him home?”

Woke up this morning and decided to go to town for a day or two. I was out of ice, out of food and out of vodka. Besides that I have about 374 actively itching bug bites that need some benadryl and calamine lotion. I was planning on a late afternoon departure time but the wind died while I was putting up the last few pieces of siding on the second row of the north side and I smelled me. I moved my outgoing flight up to noon and set about stowing everything.

It’s been several days and I’ve been back and forth several times. Not a whole lot of news to report other than dam is it getting hot. I’m in town for several days while I get over a mild case of trench foot and toxic levels of bug bites. I have another post nearly ready to go so I’ll get this up and work on it a bit.

I’ve been asked to post some of the stories about the characters I’ve met on my journey here. Since the night is yet young and I’m getting half potted why not? I’ll give it a go and if anyone enjoys it I’ll do some more.

Chatty Cathy – Ever see a sight that just made you want to wash your eyes out with bleach? Chatty Cathy is one of those people you wish you could unmeet. (not a word I know but it fits) My first encounter with Cathy began when I was moving here and had a large enclosed trailer to unload. I stopped by my friends shop and asked him if he knew anyone who I could hire to help me unload. He said he knew someone but I would have to go pick him up. I was warned that he was “a nut” but I foolishly assumed that he was simple and crazy like me. After a phone call I set off to pick him up.

When I got to his place I honked the horn about the time he walked out of his trailer. Sitting in the truck with a diesel engine running, 60 feet away I wondered who he was talking to. My best guess was that he had a wireless headset and was talking on the phone. When he got to the truck there was no headset, no phone and he was still talking a blue streak. I told him he would have to sit in the back seat since Ziggy was kind of freaked also and not about to get that far away from daddy with this guy in the truck.

So we set off to the storage unit with Chatty Cathy talking all the while. And talking. And talking.

At the unit we pile out of the truck to start unloading. Did I mention that he was talking the whole time? By now I had realized that he was not the sort of person to let conversation get in the way of talking so I didn’t even bother to grunt or wiggle my ears to acknowledge the constant stream of words issuing from him. I began unloading.

In the trailer and in passing I could understand part of what he was saying. Some of it was comments about the boxes we were moving such as “Gun stuff. Oh, wonder what you got in here.” One comment in particular came back to haunt me when he was holding a surplus back pack I had picked up at the local Army Navy store, “Oh you were there to. I was there. We’re brothers.” Like everything else he was saying I just tuned it out and kept going. When I was outside the trailer all I heard was some mumbling sounds that just increased in volume as I passed him then died out a bit as he moved something into the storage unit. He was a worker though. We unloaded the trailer in half the time I had estimated which I attribute to whatever drugs he was taking.

At the end of the day I paid him with a belt sander he was particularly enamored with and took him back to his trailer. In nearly three and a half hours he hadn’t stopped for breath a single time and had covered every topic imaginable. I tipped him 20 dollars and told him that no one needed to know my business and to keep what he saw to himself.

Weeks later I had a truck to unload. Steeling myself I made the call. I told him the day I would be there and could he help unload. He told me he might be baling hay and that he had to work his trade after all. Baling hay is a trade? What has happened in the 50+ years since I bailed hay that it has become a trade?

Time passed and I began settling into my new life. While visiting with my friend at his shop he told me that Cathy had stopped by. Seems that Cathy wanted to tell my friend about helping me with unloading my trailer. “That guy has some stuff in there if you know what I mean (wink, wink). But I don’t want to say any more. I’ve said to much already.” I wasn’t happy.

Not long after that I had stopped at the local truck stop for a grease bomb and fries. Upon leaving I walked by some homeless guy only to hear “How you doing tonight?” I just grunted and kept going. Then I heard “Aren’t you that guy that I helped unload a trailer?”

I stopped dead in my tracks and looked closely. Oh shit, it’s him. And he’s winking. “Yeah” was about all I could think to say. “I thought you were going to call me to help again.” he replied while apparently trying to blink something out of his eye. “I did” I answered. “You never called me back. And what’s wrong with your eye?”

“You know” says he “we were over there together” while nodding in the general direction of the truck stop parking lot. Looking over to the corner of the parking lot all I could see was a Dollar General and some unmarked truck. I had no earthly clue what this nut case was talking about but I was quickly becoming concerned that he might be dangerous or that at some point he might start humping my leg. Then I remembered. Afghanistan He had babbled about being over there when he saw the back pack. “No, I’ve never been to Afghanistan” I said then hurried to the truck for a quick escape.

A few days later I was in a local hardware store when I heard “Well hello my friend! How are you?” Oh shit, it’s him. And he’s winking like a broken traffic light after being hit by lightning. And he’s coming toward me. I started backing up and wondering if “He was humping my leg judge” would stand up in court here. About that time I had a very pleasant collision with a very pretty and very buxom young lady who simply said “I’ll handle this.”

“Go on! Get out of here! Quit bothering the customers.” Peering out from behind her I was tempted to throw in a “Yeah! What she said!” but held my tongue.

I haven’t seen Chatty Cathy since but then I don’t hang out in dark corners of truck stop parking lots so he may be out there still if you know what I mean. But I don’t want to say any more. I’ve said to much already.

I’ve added disqus to the comment section on here. Now you can comment using your disqus account and not need to register here.

Hopefully this will let me get a feel for if anyone reads this drivel and if I should keep writing it.

I have very little to report this time. Other than a walk about all I did today was get everything put away for my trip back to town. I got here about noon, took a shower, did my vegetable imitation for a couple of hours took a nap, then tried a different vegetable for a change.

Anyway here’s some rambling stuff from the shack in the swamp.

Back in the swamp again.
I was up early today, ran to town for some last minute stuff, bought 140 pounds of ice, loaded the Boy and headed out. The roads on the way out were in very good shape so I made decent time right up until I got to my road. Even then it was fairly dry with no white knuckle driving required.

At the shack unloading was uneventful except the cooler. With 80 pounds of ice it always merits a short porch sitting event. There was a strong wind blowing so after I opened the place up it was fairly cool within minutes. The strong wind reminded me that I hadn’t finished nailing down the steel straps holding the roof on so I spent a couple of hours getting them tied in. I did a rough count and there were a bunch of them (more than 10, I didn’t take my boots off) which makes me feel better about the upcoming hurricane season.

I spent some time spreading a snake repellent that was highly recommended online and found at Ace. Afterward I was nearly regretting it since it has a moth ball smell mixed with some foul odor I didn’t even want to identify. The smell went away after a couple of hours or maybe every smell sensor I had is now fried.

As I was spreading it I thought “I wonder if this works?” Then I thought “How would I know?” It’s kind of like vampire repellent. Do you see any? In truth this came up in a conversation with a good friend but it sounds better when I tell it this way.

Then I went on my regular walk about. This is where I walk some of the property and the road in front. Ziggy loves it because he gets to run up and down the road at top speed and hopefully (in his mind) splash me with mud when passing a puddle. Not sure what he’s going to do if the mud ever dries out. Spit at me maybe. Dunno, we’ll see.

The swamp is down a lot. There’s no water flowing across the road and I could see mud for several feet on both sides instead of water. I was hearing logging going on south and west of me so I’m wondering if they have done something to open the flow up. Sometime this week I’ll take a ride that way and see if I can tell what has happened. Tomorrow morning I’ll walk to the back swamp on my property to see how far it has dropped. It would be nice if I had 5 or 6 acres drying out and available for use.

I visited hog wallow number 2 which is also drying. I might be able to walk it this week without sinking up to my knees and get a feel for
how big it is. At some point I want to dig a pond. A hog wallow is an ideal place since there is no foot deep root mat to deal with.

On the way back from my walk I stopped and looked at the shack for a minute. Holy crap what a dump! There’s piles of material, tools everywhere, half finished projects at every turn and no end in sight.

My priority this week is get the siding up and build a shower. I’m going to have a shower this week if I have to stand on a ladder and dump water on my head. I want to mount the water tank about 10 feet off the ground. This will mean I have a tank of water that weighs about 350 pounds ten feet up. Question is how do I tie it down so it doesn’t blow over?

First idea is to pour a pad and tie the 4x4s to the pad. Problem is I have no concrete right now. So I would have to dig and level an area, go to town, buy concrete then come back. Then mix and pour about 20 bags of concrete. That is a lot of work. A whole lot of work.

I could bury the 4x4s about 2 feet in the ground. Then in about 2 years have the whole thing collapse on my dumb ass while I was in the shower. It’s looking like I’ll have to make a concrete run this week.

It’s supposed to get down to 50 tonight. Which means that it will be in the 40s out here. I’ve lit three candles which surprisingly do very well at keeping the chill down. I set the kerosene heater out just in case. I’ll know it’s time to light it if the Boy gets in bed and dives under the covers tonight.

This morning it was pretty cold. Not light the heater cold but cold enough I didn’t mind sharing the bed with Ziggy. Boy is like an electric blanket. Then it happened. Noise on the porch!

I grabbed a pistol and headed that way. I expected Ziggy to be excited and ready to attack. All I heard was marauding raccoons and some faint snoring coming from underneath the covers. So I charged outside, shined the flashlight around and didn’t see anything except the mess they had made. Meanwhile back in bed Ziggy wasn’t in any mood to negotiate space at all. I looked at the clock and put the water on for coffee.

Tonight I have a surprise for the little democrats. I’ve blocked off part of the porch and spread mouse traps everywhere. It might not do much to deter them but at least I’ll wake up laughing.

Had a good day anyway. Walked the back part of the property and the swamp is indeed down overall. The band of marsh which keeps me from getting to the back 20 acres might be dry enough soon that I can get a footbridge in. I would really like to see what is back there.

Broke out the tools, generator, air compressor and was all set to put up siding. Then disaster struck. I remembered that I’m afraid of heights. Along about noon I kicked myself in the butt and started climbing ladders. By six I had one side completely done except for a strip that I’ll do on the balcony tomorrow.

I’m planning on completing a side before I move on to the next. The new ladder is heavy as hell so moving it is a study on sweat. So I’m going to finish screwing down the top, seal the seams and paint before I move on.

I’ve become concerned about the screws holding the siding on. I didn’t learn until today that I should be using screws and liquid nails. Many of the screws are in nothing more than 1/2” plywood. So I have all these screws sticking through the walls. I’ll be putting insulation over them but feel like I should reinforce the joint somehow.

I might buy a ton of shoulder washers and a couple of quarts of fiberglass resin then just fiberglass them in. No individual joint would be all that strong but overall it would significantly increase the integrity of the wall. Might not be a bad idea to do the screw heads outside as well. A layer or two of cloth on the inside would really strengthen the joints. I don’t like working with fiberglass but the idea is really appealing.

I’ve decided to leave the first floor unfinished inside and finish out the second floor. This is based on the belief that the second floor will become living quarters and the first will be storage and guest quarters. Not that I won’t appreciate my guests comfort if I have any but a bed, a fan and Ziggy is about all anyone can expect.

Been a couple of days. Went to town Sunday night for some air conditioning, a shower and a bed that doesn’t slide around when I move. Next morning I made a quick trip to town for some material and ice (of course) then headed back to the swamp.

I have the siding complete on one side of the shack with most of the base coat of paint on. The backer board and thin set soaks the paint up like a sponge so it is going to take a lot of painting before I’m convinced that it’s well sealed. I started with some OD green then went to a gallon of khaki I had bought by mistake. (two gallons truth be told) I started pouring the remainder of the green in so I ended up with several shades of green and some khaki. Once I got to the second floor I kept going out to the road to see what a color looked like through the trees and brush.

I found out it really didn’t matter much. Just about any shade of green faded into the foliage and pretty well disappeared. Except for the window and roof line. I can paint the frame of the window and hide that but it will still be a large rectangle of glass and screen that sticks out like a sore thumb. The roof line will more or less disappear once I get the nerve to climb up there and paint the 6x6s. By the time I get to using a rattle can I’m confident I can convince the eye to look elsewhere.

I’m not expecting total stealth yet. Once the bamboo and trees grow enough my shack will be totally concealed from the road. Hopefully that will be late summer this year. If not next year for certain.

Speaking of bamboo, the giant bamboo I put in the ground about a month ago is over two feet tall now. I’ve read that under ideal conditions it can grow up to six feet a day. I’d settle for 30 feet by the end of this summer. From the looks of it that might be a realistic goal. The other plant I put in the ground about three weeks ago appears to be settling in and is beginning to show signs of growth.

It’s finally happened. I’m losing it. On my walk this morning I noticed a dragonfly on my shoulder. I thought this was a rather nice surprise so I began to talk to it. I explained that I really admired the dragonfly race and that I would really like to be sort of an ambassador to the dragonfly kingdom. (for anyone who doesn’t know it dragonflies are fierce hunters of mosquitoes and yellow flies) I then invited him and all his buddies to live at my shack and follow me around all they wanted. I even offered to build little dragonfly houses with a white picket fence and a station wagon with wife, kid and shaggy dog on each seat. At just about that point he fell over dead. So much for my skills as a bug whisperer.

I tried an experiment that I hoped would help rid me of stumps. I have zillions of stumps from brush sticking up and some of them are 2+ inches in diameter with as many as a dozen in a group. Below ground they are a mass of roots with thicknesses that cause a mattock to go “Sproingggg!!!” when hit.

So I thought why not build a small very hot fire over the stumps to burn them and the roots out in one fell swoop? So I tried it. I poured a couple of pounds of charcoal over the stumps, put a steel fire ring down to contain the heat and blaze then lit that sucker off. Then lit it off again. Then added some lighter knot. Then poured more lighter fluid on it and lit it again. It finally lit. And burned for 14 hours. Well, at least burned then smoked that long. By the end of the day I was all excited when running over to check the results. You can imagine how I felt when I realized I had about a dozen flame hardened stumps to deal with now. All I can figure is that the roots were able to pump enough water to the stumps to keep them from burning. Maybe I should bury a spinning hub cap under one of the stumps then let it leak to the local mezcan population that one is buried somewhere out here.

 

Back in town for a couple of days so time for an update. I spent 10 days in the swamp with two trips to town. Both trips were for material and ice. Oh, and a shower.

Greetings from the swamp. I brought my laptop out this time thinking that I would write some every day or so. Well, it’s been six days and here’s the first.

I bought the siding for about half the shack and started putting it up. I got two rows on one side nearly done and realized that this isn’t going to happen without an extension ladder. So as usual the plan has to evolve for now. So I’m doing the first two rows on three sides then when a ladder is available I’ll finish. Note: As usual I didn’t get much past the bottom two rows on the first side.  Best of intentions and all but events plus the sun took over. 

To do the back side I’ll have to take the rain barrel down so I might as well build a tower to mount it on while I’m at it. While I’m doing that I’ll do the tower for the hot water tank on the east side. Then I can go ahead and build a valve manifold and outdoor shower. Which will make the Boy happy. Not that he would ever get in a shower but he’s visibly happier after I have.

.It rained hard core for two days. I’ve been putting a grape/muscadine arbor in and had three of seven rows done. This morning I went out to start again. After digging about six inches I hit water. When you hit water like that here you might as well find something else to do since as fast as you dig the hole fills. All you are doing is creating a depression from the sand running into the hole. By afternoon it was dry enough I was able to finish the hole and get another plant in. Maybe tomorrow I can get the last three in and start something else. Or maybe not. I finished the arbor but forgot to take a pic. It turned out to be six plants since the seventh succumbed to extended abuse and expired. I cremated it’s spindly little body with appropriate honors in a very touching ceremony.

Time out here loses meaning. Today I started wondering what day it was then thought “Who cares?” Then I began wondering what month it was. You guessed it, “Who cares?”

Some neighbors to the north were up for a few days. I had a great
time visiting with them and watching them spoil the Boy even more. He seems to find a way of capturing every heart he encounters and reduces grown men to that time when they all wanted a big old ugly dog to love. For my part I got a bag of goodies when they left, two really nice trees and a bowl of most excellent stew.

The trees are an avacado and a mango both over three feet tall. I was very happy to get them. Now I have to find a good place to plant them. I know that with 30 acres to work with I should have no problem finding suitable planting sites but it’s not all that easy. For starters digging a hole around here isn’t as simple as just sticking a shovel in the ground. In the background you can see my wood burning stove sans legs patiently waiting to go inside. First I have to finish putting down backer board and tile. Add that to the list.

This is the swamp. Everything here is fighting tooth and nail to survive and uses every trick in the book to do so. The entire ground is a thick mat of roots that vary in size from a hair up to several inches thick. Until recently I had never thought of a sawzall as a gardening tool. Still, except for some bamboo, everything I’ve planted is thriving and shows a lot of promise. I’m hoping the location I find for the mango and avacado does well for them.

Plans for road repair are moving along. We now have three people willing to kick in cash and another willing to help with equipment. Since I made a trip to town for material yesterday I have ice for another three days so I might be able to finalize plans when I get back whatever day that is. Once I have a final price for delivery I can start lining up help to spread and set a date to kick things off.

I killed what I think was a copperhead about four feet long in front of the truck the other day. I heard the Boy carrying on and went over to see what was going on. When I got there Ziggy was running circles around the snake and trying to find an opening. Hollering at him was useless so I got a stick and waded in. Once I got the Boy off the snake it started booking and I started shooting. Ever try to shoot a running snake with a 45? I hit him on the third shot. By then the Boy was in the shack hiding since he’s scared to death of gunshots. I was using Oath Talon ammo which is some nasty stuff. It cut the snake nearly in half and he was still trying to get away. I went and got a 410 shotgun pistol and shot him again. That put him down for the long count finally. I put the 45 away and am carrying the 410 now.

I’m sure someone is going to look at the picture and say “That’s not a copperhead. It’s a gentle giant on the way to the 7-11 to get some Skittles and Arizona Iced Tea.” Yeah. I killed his ass. Live with it. His momma come around here bitching I’ll pop a cap in her ass as well. Since then someone knowledgeable in snakeology took a look and told me that it was in fact poisonous.

Slept in till nearly 8 this morning and did a bunch of porch sitting. It was just one of those days.

I did get the last of the muscadines planted and now have six rows of them. The water table was down to about a foot so I figured I had better get it done before the next rain. Once the plants are established I don’t anticipate ever having to water them. If anything it may be to wet for them and I’ve just wasted a decent amount of cash and labor. However, the wild muscadine vines are thriving in the same location so things could go well.

I’ve cut a couple of wild muscadines back to the ground and put in a stake for them to grow on. I want to see if they will produce grapes when pruned properly. If they do I’m living on 30 acres of muscadine plantation which could produce enough hooch to power a major city. If not I’ll have to buy more round up.

Once I start to see some grapes growing I’ll have to figure out how to keep the raccoons away. I saw a solar powered electric fence at another property today so that may be part of the solution. I really don’t want to go on a crusade and commit raccoonicide but that may end up being what I have to do. Maybe I could trap them and relocate them to somewhere they would be more welcome. Unfortunately most of the people I truly hate have Secret Service protection and I doubt I could get close enough to throw a very angry raccoon at them.

The Boy went off today, ran in front of the truck and began making
battle sounds. Thinking “snake” I ran over while drawing my pistol. “It’s a giant armored dinosaur!” he yelled. Not hardly. I put the Boy on lock down and went back to confront the monster. By the time I got there the turtle had covered nearly

two feet and was in high gear getting out of Dodge. I gave him an assist to the other side of the road then washed my hands twice since he pissed all over them. I kept the Boy on lock down for about an hour and sat on the porch with him just in case the giant armored dinosaur returned. See, I knew I had a good reason for sitting on the porch all day.

I began work on a double sink I got out of the trash pile at the campground I stay at. This mostly consisted of taking it out of the back of the truck and staring at it for awhile. Well, I sat on the porch and stared at it. I’m thinking of mounting it on the front porch and running a drain out to a gray water collection tank. Its uses will be many. I can wash dishes instead of hauling them back to town to do. I can put up a shower curtain and take a bath instead of using a bucket. OK, its uses will be two but it will be an improvement around here.

I hooked up with a guy who just got here today and we visited a couple of properties. I have to quit that. When I see what other people have done out here it makes coming back to the shack rather depressing. Of course they are years, dollars and manpower ahead of me but it’s still hard to see what can be versus what I’ve got done so far. Maybe more work and less porch time is in order.

But then I also get a lot of good ideas from seeing what others have figured out. One guy had faced regular lumber with wood cut out from dead trees. It was skillfully done so I had to look twice before I realized what he had done. It looked great. Once inside his steel metal building you had the impression that you were in a rough cut log cabin. But that’s an idea for another day and another building. I have my hands full with the shack.

I did borrow a 16 foot ladder so I may be able to finish the siding, seal the seams and paint. I have to figure out how to get a 26 pound piece of backer board about 14 feet in the air, set it in place and screw it down while on a ladder. I had an idea for a pulley, rope and a harness on Ziggy. Then I had a vision of him spotting a tree bear and what would happen after that. I might have to sit on the porch awhile and think about this. I did just that and came up with zip. More porch time needed maybe.

I hauled a bunch of brush today and put it in the driveway and parking area. An 8000 pound truck with big mud tires is hell on wet ground and I was becoming worried that I would turn the whole area into a giant mud bog. Then I looked at an area I had just cut the brush and drove over it. It is being damaged but nowhere near as bad as the areas with no brush. It’s a bit disconcerting the first few times you drive over it and hear the snapping and crunching. But after a few trips that stops so you just add more. I’m having to go further and further to get cut brush but at least I don’t have to wait on rain to burn it. And it’s not like there is a brush shortage going on around here. I could probably pave this area with four feet of crunched brush and still have enough to build a mountain.

Another day, another,,,,,,well, another day.

I was up before the crack of dawn today and sat on the porch sipping coffee and watching the sunrise. There’s a sudden quiet when I walk outside but after a few minutes things start to crank up again. As the sun comes up things really get cooking that sometimes you just feel this urge to shout “SHUT UP!!!!” at the top of your lungs.

I had the best of intentions this morning and quickly set about assembling all the tools and materials to put up siding. I had the generator gassed, extension cords laid out, skill saw and nail gun all primed and ready to go. Then I got a text about a culvert going in and would I help. So I put everything away (actually I just piled it up on the floor of the shack), loaded Ziggy and the cooler then set off for a culvert adventure. I loaded the cooler since I figured that if I was going to drive that far out I might as well go to town and get ice.

When I got there the culvert was in, water was flowing and the road graded. So I stood around with the rest of the group and watched water flow for about 20 minutes. We speculated on how much was flowing per minute, how fast the swamp would drain, what the benefit to us would be and other such weighty matters. All in all it was an entirely unproductive but enjoyable 20 minutes. Then I was off to the big city lights and the ice machine.

On the way back out I stopped again at the new culvert and spent another useless 5 minutes watching the water flow. After all I needed to be able to make an accurate report once I got back to the swamp.

It was 5:30 by the time I got back to the shack and 96 degrees. So I tended to the ice then sat on the porch and took a nap. Score for the day: got ice, watched water flow for 25 minutes. Not a bad day all in all. Tomorrow morning I plan on siding again but there’s talk of another culvert so who knows?

The next day I had early visitors and was invited to go for a ride. So we loaded the Boy (literally, had to pick him up and set him in the devil machine) and set off. After cruising various mud holes while looking for snakes to shoot we ended up back at his place. He then said he was going to bring his tractor down and bush hog some brush for me. I quickly said yes and we were off again.

Two hours later he had cut more brush than I could cut in over two weeks. He opened up all the trails I had previously cut as well as cut a couple of new ones. Walking it afterward I noticed that the ground appeared to be smoother and realized that I was walking on mulch deposited in the low areas while he was mowing.

One of the paths he extended for me was straight south to where I thought the swamp would be. He went about another 40 feet and hit a bog. Surveying it disclosed that it was a major super highway for hogs plus possibly an open air convention center. There must be at least 30 game trails in and out with more hog sign than I could count. This explains why I hear hogs all night long. In the picture, center frame, you’ll see a large brown area. This is the remains of a pile of logs about three feet high that he simply turned into dust nearly.  Going between the two trees you have several feet of relatively dry ground then the hog wallow. This is actually the second hog super highway I’ve found. This one was way to wet to wade through so I’m not sure about relative size. Besides I’m the worst at judging area and distance. It could be a hundred square feet or a hundred square miles. It’s all the same in my mind. It’s an area that is useless to me at this time so it might as well be on the moon. Still, once you get back to it, it is pretty. Except for the clouds of mosquitoes and yellow flies. If it wasn’t for the stench I would have dropped to the ground and rolled around in the mud just to get them off me.

I took a few pics from the road just to see how stealthy my construction has been. Though it seems that I stick out like a sore thumb I’m actually pleased with the results. In these pics you are seeing the second floor minus siding and camo paint. I also have bamboo planted between the road and the shack which will further hide it once established. Since the shack won’t be moving I can paint it to match the brush thus further hiding it. Not much I can do about the windows but I can attach some tree limbs with spanish moss to help disguise them. If I were starting to build today I would build 100 feet further in and about the same further south. But hey, I had to start somewhere.

Two nights ago I was invited to dinner at another neighbors place. Of everyone I’ve ever met he is undoubtedly the most self sufficient. I was given the nickle tour and was constantly impressed with the detail that he had went to in building his place. I didn’t want to appear to be to inquisitive so I restrained my curiosity and only asked about ten thousand questions. I’m hoping for another invitation sometime in the future so I can do a detailed examination of the hidden works and inner mechanisms of his systems.

I also had another most excellent meal.